I think my husband is fattening

Yesterday wasn’t a total bust. I was depressed until I did my leg exercises.  Exercising usually seems to pull me out of it at least for a little while.  But yesterday I actually was good after that.

The problem is I think my husband is fattening.  I’ve told him so too.  For some reason when he is around I want to do things I tell myself I am not going to do.  For instance he was traveling for a week last fall.  That entire week I ate perfectly.  I didn’t even want to eat junk or drink.  I could talk to him on the phone and it was still all good in the eating department.  As soon as he came home that all changed.  Part of that I know is that he is HUGE snacker so all the junk was back in the house.  But I actually can feel something change in me and I am more susceptible to overeating. We have a really good relationship.  The stress of no jobs and no money takes its toll sometimes but this is an all the time thing.   

So what do I do?  Somehow I am associating my husband, comfort and food together.  I guess I need to figure out a way to change that. 

But back to yesterday.  The good mood started when I did my leg exercises.  Later I also did some cardio dancing for 25 minutes.  I must have kept myself busy and up on my feet a good part of the day because my legs were killing me by the end of it.  But in spite of the sore legs we still got in our 2 mile walk.  So all in all it was a good day for calorie burning.  Dear husband went to the store and bought some DiSaronno Amaretto; my favorite.  He also brought with that some beef jerkey.  Prior to this I was going to end my day with a calorie deficit of about 1100-1200.  Instead I probably broke even because I had some beef jerkey, lucky charms and about 3-4 ounces of Amaretto.  I haven’t worked the numbers but I do know it doesn’t fit in with my goal to lose 2 pounds a week. 

Emotional Eating

I’m having a tough day today.  Got up early to walk the dogs to beat the heat (@AlexandraZ1).  It was a nice walk but I just felt sorta blah.  I’m bored and depressed.  I feel like my life is a waste and I am doing nothing that contributes to this world.  I don’t recommend being unemployed and broke.  Being unemployed is ok for a little while as long as one is not broke.  I’m so over it.

I decided that I am going to get this extra weight off once and for all and that is not helping.  That means no emotional eating for me and I really need it today. I guess I have to find another way to cope.  That’s what it’s all about anyhow when making changes.  I will have to replace the bad habits with good ones.  So I guess my feelings of doom and despair are really helping me deal with changing the bad habit of emotional eating.  Nice. Because I want to get this weight off I weighed myself this morning.  I actually have 22.6 pounds to lose instead of 20.  I’m going to eat 1500 calories a day which is 388 less than I need to maintain.  Of course these are all estimates.  That means to lose 2 pounds a week I have to exercise off the additional 612 calories.  I’ll get about 300 from my walks and then I have to figure out what else I will do for the rest.  I have a list of things to choose from ranging from exercise videos to jumping rope.  I even put playing music and juggling on it. I don’t think I will count those as exercise although they do count as activity. 

Something I am going to do besides exercise to break the emotional eating habit is knit or crochet.  I’m not very good at it but it is very calming.  I’m going to make hats and scarves and give them to a charity that distributes them to the homeless. Knot 2b Forgotten  Then I have another charity that I will make squares for and they put them together to make blankets. Share a Square  On one hand I would like to be able to send them a ton of stuff.  But that would mean that the hard times are continuing.  I have a lot of yarn from my life before I was broke so that will keep me going for a while.  I guess I can still make things even when my mood changes.  I’ll just have to find another bad habit to break!!

Later